Surreal Insanity
by softly descending
Summary: Rory loses some sanity when Tristan breaks up with her. At least once in our hallow lives are we fooled by love . . . . .


Disclaimer: Uh huh, nope, I don't own the never ending banter that is Gilmore Girls.

This is a repost of an earlier story I wrote called My Broken Heart, in this I just added some on. Since I'm deleting the other one, I'm having a small shout out toeveryone who reviewed 'My Broken Heart' If you didn't review before, it doesn't matter, just scroll down and read the story please!

Also I need a Beta reader for my stories Randomoscity and Glinting Sunlight, my updates for those tend to be few and far between but I want to make them the best they can be! Just leave me a note!

SexiBitet: I'm glad you liked it and I'm very flattered by your praise. ( People if you read BTVSHP crossovers read Sexibitet's Ritual King)

Lientje46: I'm just happy you read it!

wickedshizit: Awww, thanks!

Love23: You seem to be a reviewing kind of person, I hope you review this too!

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_SurrealInsanity_

It's not working!

I express my frustration within my lonely pale words. I'm a dancer, a singer, I do what I wish with my words. But what, she asks, do you do when the music stops? Staring blanking at the questionnaire, there's nothing I can, could, do. The sweet whispers of insanity flutter through my mind. A gentle, mocking laugh, simple words, creepily sliming their way into the liquid insecurities of my conscience.

Something smiles, and my physical eyes move slightly in paranoia. Nothing is after me. Squinting, closing my lids in haste I wanted to cry. Their ghostly hands are holding my heart, cooling the passion, and gradually helping me.

I thought you forgave me, I thought you would save me. I had a quiet dream, reminding me, of everywhere I have ever been. Nowhere in my life have I fit in. And sleeping through those reveries, I thought for once I'd find my peace. But sadly it was not to be so, for later I awoke to the sound of a jet black crow, standing on the edge of an autumn oak branch, cawing loudly if only to cause a disturbance.

Lifting my head I try to see my reflection in the ornate mirror across the room.

Without my petty lenses I look silly. Facial skin blurred into pale white perfection, eyes, dark indistinct shadows resting on my cheeks. My pink lips, fuller than most, now look swollen in my hazy sight.

Blinking, I find there are small words being driven through my head by madness, phrases making my spine shiver ever so lightly in their shallow threats.

I reach for my pencil and choreograph my words to fit the music of the voices calling kind. Does this make sense? Does the repetitiveness bother you? You are my reader, and the only one to judge, for I don't want to have to add another word. This writing is littered with fragments, please forgive for the improper grammar:

_It's so easy. I love you. Simple words. Like my name._

_You ask. I answer._

_The words are always on my breath. I breathe my affection._

_Neglect is my weakness._

_Utterly devoted, I can pull the words right out of the air._

_Am I who I once was? A frostily placed smile plays upon my lips._

_There is no question in that statement. I laugh distantly. Stating the obvious._

_So easy, a beginning, an end. No, never ending. If it always existed, did it somehow start? I love you. I couldn't lose you._

_But you'll never ask me. No true words will pass through those lovely lips of yours, that you might become caught._

_Shaking my head. I'm confused. It is a definite inquiry. Can you feel it? The growth, spring, the flowers, the colours._

_I'll never see it in the same lilting light. I can love you. I can loathe you. It is not to be catagorised. Labeled. I'm alone. You wouldn't repeat a mistake._

_A lead, like a river, down to the ocean. But, some how I lost the way._

_Instead of the sea, I found myself on a mountain. Surrounded by bitter snow. And hard ice._

_The beginning, the tributaries, and cold streams of waters gently bubbling over colder stones._

_I'll be blunt. You hurt me. It's a statement._

_Deceiving creativity, as the spoken declaration left my mouth._

_You smiled._

_A lovely smile. Another one. The list, one name longer. A conquest, a victory. So happy, I think tiredly._

_I thought your smile was accepting, appreciating, loving me, for loving you. In many ways it so true._

_You loved that you could say haughtily:_

_'I won another one, she might have been pretty, I never truly looked into her eyes, I never do.'_

Ending it I sigh. What truth lies beneath the subtle waters of untamed sea? The little people in my head, the loud voices in my mind, seem to quiet for a moment.

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So Rory is steadily going insane after the breakup of her and whomever you chose. It's not logical but I wanted to embelish my previous story. 

Please feel free to review, I just enjoy it so much when I get feedback!


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